Pour l’extinction volontaire de l’espèce humaine

La magie des actualités. Lues séparément elles installent un mal-être passager, se dissipant à la prochaine notification Facebook. Regroupées elles permettent d’admirer l’océan de merde dans lequel nous buvons la tasse un peu plus chaque jour. La particularité de l’entièreté de ces sujets ? Ils ont pour origine le même mal incurable : l’être humain. Nous sommes le dénominateur commun de tous nos problèmes. Nous sommes les ouvriers infatigables de nos propres tracas. Seulement, à force de charbonner comme des singes, l’usine va fermer. Dernier espoir de CDI : la colonisation d’autres planètes.

Mais à quoi bon planter sa tente Quechua sur Mars si l’on y reproduit à l’identique nos comportements actuels ? Puis, arrêtons de nous mentir, rouler en vélo galactique ou voter François Ruffin en hyperespace ne changera rien au problème racine : nous sommes une espèce pourlingue.

Je ne vous apprends rien. Les soeurs Wachowski l’ont déjà exprimé en 1999 dans leur trilogie Matrix que personne n’a jamais vraiment compris.

«Tous les mammifères sur cette planète ont contribué au développement naturel d’un équilibre avec le reste de leur environnement. Mais vous les humains, vous êtes différents. Vous vous installez quelque part et vous vous multipliez. Vous vous multipliez jusqu’à toutes vos ressources naturelles sont épuisées et votre seul espoir de survie est de vous déplacer jusqu’à un autre endroit. Il y a d’autres organismes, sur cette planète, qui ont adopté cette méthode. Vous savez lesquels ? Les virus ! Les humains sont une maladie contagieuse ; le cancer de cette planète. Vous êtes la peste.» Agent Smith

 

Mettons fin à notre condition de nuisible, soyons fermes en adoptant une solution simple : coupons-nous les couilles. Ensemble, imaginons un monde libéré de son virus le plus actif.

Pour les angoissés du sécateur il y a matière à discuter. La NASA est confiante sur une fin proche de notre civilisation. Certains annoncent 2400 comme date d’un game over sans crédits. Une étude de l’université d’Oxford en 2008 estime la probabilité d’extinction de l’espèce humaine d’ici 2100 à 19 %.  Les raisons d’espérer sont multiples. D’abord, la Terre est dans un champs de tir. Astéroïdes, éruptions solaires et autres magnetars sont bien décidés à nous prendre en levrette. Enfin le développement de l’IA s’accompagne d’une apocalypse certaine.

Mais souhaite t-on réellement rester passif face à notre propre disparition ? Autant agir avec panache.

« Exterminer sept milliards d’êtres humains n’est point chose aisée »

Comment s’y prendre ? Exterminer sept milliards de parasites n’est point chose aisée. Aucun virus ne serait assez efficace pour tous nous tuer. Les quelques survivants se retrouveraient avec des résistances accrues et pourraient de nouveau forniquer. Oublions aussi la solution de la guerre. Aucune ne sera assez meurtrière. Même la disparition instantanée de quatre-vingt millions de personnes grâce aux bombes atomiques éliminerait à peine la croissance de la population mondiale d’une année. Les conséquences sur l’écosystème ne seraient, en revanche, pas top.

La seule solution est donc de rendre l’enfant superflu et de pénaliser les parents. Par pénaliser j’entends les brûler. Pas de demi-mesure. Restons fermes. Imaginez un instant la réjouissance de cette nouvelle ère. Quel bonheur de vivre nos dernières années sans être entourés de chiards. Finis les cris interminables de gosses difformes dans le train. Finies les serial posteuses de photosde leurs lardons plus laids qu’une chaussette usagée. Le sexe anal deviendrait la norme. Peut-on rêver d’une meilleure fin ?

 

Le Mouvement pour l’extinction volontaire de l’espèce humaine abonde dans ce sens : la seule réduction de l’espèce humaine ne suffit plus. Visons plus haut. Soyons exigeants. Militons pour notre extinction totale et rêvons de l’après-nous : le monde sans humains deviendrait un immense parc d’attractions pour les seules espèces méritant de survivre. De quoi enfin donner du sens à nos misérables existences.
« Le feu prit un jour dans les coulisses d’un théâtre. Le bouffon vint en avertir le public. On crut à un mot plaisant et l’on applaudit ; il répéta, les applaudissements redoublèrent. C’est ainsi, je pense, que le monde périra dans l’allégresse générale des gens spirituels persuadés qu’il s’agit d’une plaisanterie. » Søren Kierkegaard.

 

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