Les techniques de manipulation psychologique dont vous pourriez être victime

Elles se trouvent dans les endroits que nous fréquentons le plus souvent. Il peut s’agir de notre patron-ne, du/de la voisin-e du dessus, d’un-e collègue, d’un-e client-e, d’un-e parent-e éloigné-e ou proche ou de n’importe quel-le ami-e. Nous parlons de personnes qui maîtrisent parfaitement certaines techniques de manipulation et qui les utilisent pour nous perturber.

Bien qu’elles se trouvent dans notre entourage, il n’est pas facile de détecter ces personnes. Leurs caractéristiques et leurs traits de personnalité ne sont pas évidents. Personne ne porte un écriteau avertissant qu’il s’agit d’un-e narcissique ou d’un-e sociopathe. Par conséquent, comment pouvons-nous les éviter ?

Pourquoi à moi ?

Ce type de personnes se nourrit de la douleur des autres. Ce n’est pas que nous sommes plus faible, vulnérable ou spécial-e, mais plutôt que nous sommes une autre victime pour elles. Un numéro de plus.

Nous avons tou-te-s connu la culpabilité ou la méfiance après certaines situations dans lesquelles nous avons été impliqué-e-s. Le pire est que nous la ressentons sans savoir ni comment ni pourquoi. Mais le fait est que les conséquences nous éclaboussent, minent notre moral, compliquent nos vies et augmentent notre sentiment d’insécurité. Comment font-elles pour que nous le remarquions à peine ?

techniques de manipulation

Que cherchent les manipulateur-trice-s ?

Il existe en général de nombreux types de personnes manipulatrices : sociopathes, narcissiques, menteur-se-s ou soi-disant vampires psychologiques. Et les détecter est davantage une question pratique que théorique. Par conséquent, si nous en avons été victime à un moment donné, il nous sera plus facile de les anticiper.

Cependant, nous pouvons considérer que les objectifs des manipulateur-trice-s sont très clairs, instrumentaux et suivent un certain schéma. Certains d’entre eux sont :

  • Annuler notre force de volonté : chercher à semer le doute et que nous restions sous leur emprise.
  • Détruire notre estime de soi : minimiser tout ce que nous faisons ou avons fait. Iels ne sont pas constructif-ve-s, iels essayent seulement de mettre en avant les défauts.
  • Vengeance passive – agressive : iels nous punissent de leur ignorance. Quand nous avons besoin d’elleux, iels nous laissent de côté ; il suffit donc que nous leur demandions quelque chose pour qu’iels nous fassent défaut ou ne nous adressent plus la parole.
  • Déformer la réalité : iels jouissent de la confusion des personnes et créer des disputes et des malentendus avec les autres. Après avoir généré un conflit, iels restent à l’écart en s’amusant des conflits des autres.

Apprendre à éviter leurs techniques de manipulation

Les conséquences de leur manipulation peuvent laisser une marque très profonde en chacun-e de nous. Par conséquent, il est nécessaire que nous sachions quelles sont les techniques de manipulation les plus fréquemment utilisées. L’objectif est d’apprendre à les anticiper pour ne pas devenir leurs marionnettes.

Ces personnes ont tendance à se moquer de nos opinions, à nous responsabiliser ou à nous faire culpabiliser, à attaquer subtilement, à nous faire nous interroger, à retarder ce qui ne les intéresse pas, à s’apitoyer sur elles-mêmes, à nier les vérités… Tout ce qui est nécessaire pour maîtriser la situation. Mais, quelles techniques de manipulation utilisent-elles pour y parvenir ?

Gaslighting

Connu sous le nom de “gaslighting“, il s’agit de l’une des techniques de manipulation les plus insidieuses. “Cela n’est jamais arrivé”, “Tu l’as imaginé” ou “Es-tu fou/folle ?”. Voici quelques-unes des expressions utilisées pour déformer et embrouiller notre sens de la réalité, nous faisant croire quelque chose qui n’a pas eu lieu.

Cela imprègne les victimes d’un sentiment extrême d’angoisse et de confusion, à tel point qu’elles cessent de se faire confiance à elles-mêmes, à leur propre mémoire, perception ou jugement.

techniques de manipulation

Projection

Le/la manipulateur-trice transfère ses traits négatifs ou transfère la responsabilité de ses comportements à une autre personne. Les narcissiques et les psychopathes l’utilisent à l’excès, affirmant que le mal qui les entoure n’est pas leur faute, mais de la nôtre.

Des conversations sans signification

Dix minutes de conversation. C’est le temps qu’il nous faudra certainement pour quitter la conversation. Les manipulateur-trice-s disent des absurdités, donnent des explications illogiques, offrent des rideaux de fumée, parlent d’événements passés…

Iels ne font juste que nous emmêler. Iels font des monologues et essaient de vous embrouiller avec leurs discours. Un conseil ? Arrêter le plus tôt possible. Et si nous pouvons partir au bout de à 5 minutes, ce sera encore préférable. Notre cerveau nous remerciera.

Généralisations et disqualifications

Iels font des déclarations générales, vagues et incohérentes. Iels peuvent paraître intellectuel-le-s, mais en réalité, iels sont vagues. Leurs conclusions sont trop générales ; leur but est de de nous mésestimer et de mettre à bas nos opinions.

Par exemple, “c’est que tu veux toujours avoir raison”, “tout te dérange”, “tu n’es jamais d’accord”. Restons calmes. Nous pouvons user d’ironie, avec un simple “merci”, ou l’ignorer avec un “Je pense que tu es quelque peu contrarié-e, nous en parlerons plus tard”.

techniques de manipulation

L’absurde

Rappelons-nous qu’iels cherchent à miner notre moral et à nous faire repenser ce que nous croyons. Iels peuvent mettre des mots que nous n’avons jamais prononcé dans notre bouche, iels nous feront croire qu’iels disposent du super-pouvoir de “lire dans nos pensées”. Mais non, il ne s’agit que de ruses et d’ergotages. Nous pouvons nous aider par une claudication simulée. Nous lui disons qu’iel a raison, mais nous gardons notre position. Nous pouvons également répondre à son chantage avec un “bon” ou avec des phrases laconiques.

La chose importante est que nous éloignons notre estime de soi de leurs mains. Ils s’agit de ce qu’iels veulent détruire afin de nous contrôler. Une fois qu’iels nous ont affaibli, la tâche est beaucoup plus facile pour elleux.

Il n’existe pas de plus grand mépris que de ne pas être apprécié.

Costume de gentil-le

“Oui mais…”. Si nous venons d’acheter une maison, iel nous dira qu’il est dommage que nous n’en possédions pas une autre à la plage ; si nous sommes devenu-e plus élégant-e que jamais, iel fera remarquer que d’autres boucles d’oreilles auraient été mieux pour nous… Si nous avons terminé un rapport impeccable, iel remarquera que le clip n’est pas fixé correctement.

Mais que cela ne nous affecte pas, nous savons ce que nous valons ! Nos réalisations et nos vertus valent plus que ses techniques de manipulation. Ne lui accordons pas de crédibilité et réunissons-nous avec des personnes qui passent plus de temps à mettre l’accent sur ce qui est bien et à nous encourager ; celles qui nous flattent lorsqu’elles doivent le faire et émettent des critiques constructives, pas destructrices.

techniques de manipulation

Résister à leur crise de colère

Lorsque nous nous opposons à un-e manipulateur-trice, la chose la plus fréquente est que sa colère augmente en quelques secondes, surtout si nous ne suivons pas son manège : sa tolérance à la frustration n’est généralement pas très élevée. Il est possible qu’iel commence à dire des atrocités et même nous insulte et se réfère à nous en termes désobligeants et péjoratifs. Il s’agit du fruit de leur propre manque de confiance.

Il s’agit là des techniques de manipulation les plus subtiles et les plus fréquentes que ces personnes utilisent pour vous humilier. Dominer nos émotions et gardez notre sang froid est la seule façon d’échapper à leur contrôle. Si nous ne succombons pas, iels se fatigueront et finiront par chercher une autre victime. La vie loin des personnes toxiques est beaucoup plus agréable.

 

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